Enjoying the Life that God has Planned for ME

I came upon this little story through the blog of a good friend of mine.  And though it is written through the perspective of a mother of a child with special needs, I believe it lends itself pretty well to those faced with most any life changing situation.  I don't want to downplay, by any means the struggle a family goes through when they learn their child has a disability.  My challenges are in no way as complicated or tough, but to some extent I've felt much like the person in this story since the day we found out that having biological children was not God's plan for us.  It's a hard truth to come to terms with when you've just expected for your whole life that that's how you would come to be a mother.  You keep toying with the idea of miraculously becoming pregnant and find yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to give birth to your own child knowing the chances of that are so slim they're invisible.  All the while you're missing out on the amazing blessings and unique opportunities that are standing right in front of you.  Experiences that most other mothers don't get to know.  So, in honor of Mother's everywhere, no matter how you came to be here in this sometimes crazy, mostly wonderful life.

"Welcome to Holland"

by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says,

"Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.

It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say 

"Yes, that's where I was supposed to go.

That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But ... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Special Song

If you happen to have your speakers on you've probably already noticed we added some music to our blog.  I came across the song "From Gods Arms, to My Arms, to Yours" when I was trying to find some appropriate songs to add to our playlist.  I haven't heard this song since we met our daughters birth mom and her family for the first time almost four years ago.  They played this song for us right there in the office of the Church adoption agency, and I think I fell apart even more this time around than I did that time.  The intense feeling of gratitude we have toward our daughters birth mother seems to grow stronger with every passing day; every smile, laugh, and hug and kiss we receive from the little girl that was so lovingly placed in our arms makes that place in our heart for her amazing birth mother grow even larger.  No "thank you" is sincere enough, no gift big enough, no words profound enough to express the debt in our hearts to that special woman.

The Perpetual Nester

For those of you who have experienced the expectation of a little one coming into your life you know full well what the term "nesting" refers to.  It's the uncontrollable need to clean, organize, and acquire all things necessary for said little one.  It can be quite consuming and exhausting and well, just plain costly.  Especially when the nesting period exceeds the length of your average pregnancy!  And, in the case of adoption, when you have no set due date to rein in these urges then at least you have a spotless house and orderly cupboards and closets.  This is what I've come to call "perpetual nesting".  We are SO ready for you baby!

When we moved the crib out of Maysie's room and into the spare bedroom it was easier to move it in one piece, and then of course I couldn't help but set it all up and see how it would look.  So our blue and brown nursery is all ready to either add some pink flare to or a pop of orange.  We'll fill you all in on which it's gonna be just as soon as we know :)  And I may or may not have a cloth diaper addiction, but they're SO soft and squishy, who could resist?

Oh, What the Heck

     So, we've been on this adoption adventure the second time around for over two and a half years now.  We were chosen so quickly (eight months in) with our first adoption that we thought for sure this one would be just as fast, after all, now we had an adorable little girl added into the mix.  Well, not so.
     I'm not the most technically inclined person on Earth but I've decided it's time to reach a little bit more.  So here it is, our blog.  And I'm actually excited to be able to log the ups and downs of this incredible journey that God has set before us.