I know we've all experienced it at one time or another. On one of those rides at the fair, half way through and you're just praying it's almost over because you feel so sick. And every second seems like an eternity as you spin around and around. Ya, that feeling, I'm about there now. Only thing that keeps me on it is knowing that in the end this ride will actually have been worth riding. I look at our daughter every day and am reminded of the end result. She took three years to get here too, maybe we're getting close.
Right now we're in limbo again, waiting to receive more information on a possible addition to our family. This time it's different though, harder, more complicated. I've been praying like crazy searching for the direction we're supposed to take. All I've received so far is this reoccurring thought "trust in Him, trust in Him". But, trust Him in what? I'm a very detail oriented person, I'm a planner, I'm organized, it is SO HARD to let go of all control, especially with something as eternally important as your family!
I know I shouldn't but everyday I let something remind me of how much I have been asked to let go of when it comes to building our family. Things as simple as what goes into our child's body before they are born and what vaccines our baby gets as a newborn, simple choices that most parents get to make. This has been the hardest part of adoption for me. I know as I learn to "trust in Him" and let go of the plan I had made for my life this ride will be more enjoyable. If I were a tattoo kind of girl I'd get this scripture inked somewhere I would see it everyday, but I'm not, so maybe framed and hung on the wall will do.
Proverbs 3:5&6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." I know Heavenly Father loves me and that His plan for me is greater than my own. I know that Jesus already suffered all of the pain I am feeling right now so that I don't have to. I just need to let go.
